With my birthday fast approaching I’m asking “what do I want to do with my life.” Normal right? Well if I was 18 or 25 maybe but 50? I haven’t figured it out in 50 years, so I’m guessing it won’t happen anytime soon either. In the meantime, why not, you know, do something! Oh sure, I do a lot of stuff like everyone else…work, kids, f’ing laundry…but I really hope my purpose on this planet is not laundry!
Truth be told, I never thought I’d be the blog kinda person. It wasn’t until I had lunch a few weeks ago with my dear friend Brinda who said to me “you should blog! You have so much to share…kids, work, decorating, crafts!” And then I ran the idea past another friend who also said “yes! that would be hysterical, I would totally read that!” Although, I’m not sure that was a compliment as I’m still being teased about the recent accidental catnapping of the apparently ‘not homeless kitty’.
So when I think about bloggers, I picture those perfect Pinterest parents and ponder my potential? And yes, I did just watch Mr Popper’s Penguins the other night. I realized I’m not like those women—I make a mess in the kitchen, I trip all the time, I spill stuff, I broke my wrist hanging pictures because I didn’t want to wait for my 6’4 husband to get home. This is me (I am brave, I brave I am bold, I am who I’m supposed to be, this is me—anyone else obsessed with the Greatest Showman?? Of course you are, it’s awesome!).
And then there’s that thing about ‘putting myself out there’. I’m pretty much an open book, at least with my friends. But the internet, that’s like forever? What if I make a fool of myself? Do I have to post pics of me? What about video?? Everyone knows the camera adds 30 lbs! Or was that the ice cream? I always get those two confused!
I guess what I’m saying is…I am practically perfectly imperfect in every way possible—think Mary Poppins worst nightmare (wow, ‘p’words are fun! phun?). But hey, if you’re going to be weird, be confident!
I am a cat-napper. An accidental cap-napper…really, it was a mistake! Although my friends will never let me live this down, let me explain how this happened.
Earlier this year a family in the neighborhood moved and couldn’t take their tabby cat Jessie, so they abandoned her. The new homeowner was allergic and another neighbor was going cat-free as well. Several people were feeding the sweetie, but the baby needed a home. So I said I’d take it…you know for LuCat.
Let me first tell first about LuCat…my 11 year son Lucas who suffers from OCD—Obsessive Cat Disorder—it’s a thing, trust me!
You too could have this peculiarity…..
Do you meow instead of saying hello?
Do you wear a cat-themed shirt everyday?
Do you have cat paw socks, so you look like a cat?
Is your favorite game Exploding Kittens, Cat Stax, Cat-opoly, Cat Crimes, or Meow Libs?
Do you have cat sheets, comforter, pillows, and cat paraphernalia covering your walls?
Does your bookshelf consist of the following titles: CatStronauts, Bad Kitty, Kat vs Dog, Grumpy Cat, How to Speak Cat, Cat Diaries, Warriors, Crenshaw, Splat the Cat, or the entire collection of Pete the Cat?
Does your cat have an Instagram page?
Do you know the difference between these cat breeds: Abyssinian, Chartreux, Cornish Rex, and Ocicat?
Can you identify the following cats: Venus, Colonel Meow, Waffles, Sir Stuffington, Edward Scissorpaws, Deputy Snuggle-up-a-gus, or Cheeto?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, you too could have Obsessive Cat Disorder. Seek medical treatment immediately. Do not get another cat…I repeat…do NOT get another cat!!
Ok, so back to my story. Yes, LuCat needed another cat. So I replied back on the neighborhood Facebook page to say I’d take her. I was told I could most likely find her on a front porch eating. So I went over, and just like they said, there was a tabby cat eating. So I picked her up and brought her home.
We were all in love with the snugly, happy cat. She made herself right at home jumping on the fridge and making herself comfy in our bed. We took some pictures, posted them back on the neighborhood page saying she was safe and happy.
And then at 10 pm the doorbell rang.
The man standing there said “I think you have my cat Taffy.”
Do you know all tabby cats basically look the same???
She did look a little big for a homeless cat, and was super fluffy and clean, which should have tipped me off. But she was where they said she’d be, and looked like the pic posted—how was I supposed to know another tabby lived in the house next door??
Fun fact: you can tell it’s a tabby by the ‘M’ marking on its forehead. It is said that a tabby cat showed up to comfort baby Jesus, and in gratitude Mary stroked the cat’s head and left and ‘M’. See this blog is also educational!
Anyway, Taffy’s family was super nice about the whole incident, we even cat sit when they go on vacation—at their house.
The next day I went over and got the correct cat, Jessie, and we love her too. Well all of us except our other cat, Cat (her name is Catalina, but she just looks like a Cat). Or as my dad calls her ‘Regular Cat’. Cat does not like Jessie. At all. Although, they have stopped growling at each other and are down to occasional hissing and sneak attack games of tag. Cat also has decided she will live on the couch and not step another paw upstairs, apparently, she is not the alfa cat.
LuCat also now called Jessie, Jorge (I keep telling him that spells Hor-heh, but he insists it’s George.) Jorge is a cute name for a girl cat, except her name is Jessie. I’m surprised that the cat hasn’t run away yet.
We also have 2 stray cats we feed, Mister and Milkshake, and Scary Larry the possum (not to be confused with the Virginia opossum, according to my friend Google). Scary Larry is actually super sweet, but a loud chewer. If he sees us he slowly backs away, he also eats snakes….when he’s not full on cat food, so we let him stay.
Please share your OCD stories with me…unless cat got your tongue? Or come over and enjoy a glass of Fat Cat Cabernet or Nein LivesRiesling!
Not a cat lover?? The HORROR!! Maybe thesevideoswill change your mind!
Hi, yeah, it’s been awhile. If only I had a few months inside to write! I mean, it would be rude of me to make my husband binge watch alone!
Being stuck inside with the ones you love isn’t always easy—you know what I’m talking about! It’s not all that bad though, I’ve had a lot of time to make some positive changes. I’ve also had a lot of crazy-ass observations during this time as well, here are just a few:
Why is there so much laundry?? I mean really, I’ve worn the same thing for the past 3 days!
Maybe I’m really an introvert Ok, stop laughing! I know, I know, I love to talk, and be around people—but hiding out at home has been kinda nice. I’ve gotten a lot of stuff done like Marie Kondo-ing my house and binge watching Netflix (hmm, perhaps 19 series was a bit too much? probably why I haven’t done the laundry)
Absurbia That’s my new word for suburbia. I don’t know if it’s because everyone is home, or I was just oblivious to the neighborhood drama before, but Desperate Housewives has nothing on my ‘hood’!
The fancy dishes That’s right, after 18 years we’re finally using the China for everyday dishes! There’s nothing like eating take-out on the ‘good dishes’
Speaking of 18 We celebrated our 18th year anniversary, or as my husband Stu (kiddingly??) calls it ‘hate-teen’. Apparently, next year is ‘mine-teen’ where we get to spend the day apart. Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
An 11 yrs old boy can eat 3 peanut butter & Fluff sandwiches a day—which is approximately 2.5 loafs of bread a week. What’s Fluff you ask?? Only the most delicious creamy marshmallow spread ever made! Which by the way, is $3.99 in NC vs $1.79 in MA. I know right!! (as my MA friends are hyper ventilating right now)
A teen can eat… Umm, everything! Seriously, my grocery bill went up like $100 a week!
Art therapy I’ve been Flea Market Flipping furniture—it’s fun, although I could really use my own ‘master craftsman’…I’m going to banned from Home Depot soon for asking so many questions!
The fabulous Jennifer also has me hooked on painting on canvas. It’s great because even if the picture sucks you can call it abstract. And everyone knows art is subjective to the viewer. For real art and inspiration check out her Instagram @art_by_jenniferA.
Well, that’s just the exciting highlights of my life in quarantine. What have you done to make the time go by?
Ooh, and I need more Netflix series! What’s your fav?
Here’s a few of mine (Netflix, Amazon, Hulu): Upload, Dead to Me, You, Ozark, Schitts Creek, Good Girls, Sneaky Pete, Little Big Lies, Little Fires Everywhere, Euphoria, Fleabag, Teenage Bounty Hunters, Red Oaks…enjoy!
As an extrovert (who me??!), I’m actually enjoying the quiet time at home.
While the outside world is in turmoil, I’m using this time as an opportunity to tackle all those projects I’ve been wanting to do: cleaning the closets; spending time with the family (when I can get them off their devices), and most of all, taking the time to work on me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing my fair share of binge-watching Netflix and supporting the economy by consuming gallons of wine, but this is also a chance for me to overthink everything, obsessive about life, and oh yeah, do healthy stuff like not eating an entire box of Oreos or occasionally going for a walk…baby steps!
The other day, I was chatting online with a friend about life. He told me about this amazing woman Carey Davidson who helps people discover their sense of purpose and how to get more out of relationships by finding out what theirFive Archetypes are. For you corporate folks out there, it’s similar to a Myers-Briggs MBTI (I’m an ENFP on that one), but this one is based on Traditional Chinese Medicine and goes deeper into who you are emotionally.
The 5 types are:
The Eternal Optimist – The Fire Archetype
The Caregiver – The Earth Archetype
The Perfectionist – The Metal Archetype
The Philosopher – The Water Archetype
The Go-getter – The Wood Archetype
Take the quiz and share your results with me! Here are my results:
FIRE: 76.5%
EARTH: 84.6%
METAL: 39.6%
WATER: 59.4%
WOOD: 59.4%
Once you take the quiz, you can learn all about each archetype in detail. Your highest score is your “primary” archetype. When you get your results you can click to Carey’s website for a deeper dive into what that means. All the scores have intersecting relationships and… hell, I don’t know. Ask her.
If you really want to understand it better, you can set up an online consultation with Carey. I decided to do a consultation. What the hell, I got the time, and I really need to figure out my life (damn you 50!).
Did you ever meet someone and you know you could be BFFs with them immediately? Well, Carey is one of those people, or maybe it’s just because we are both Earth/Fire people? Although since I’m low on ‘metal’ she said I should do Tai Chi. Ha ha, no…but I will have some chai tea!
Carey is also offering anexclusive $50 consultation (usually $375. It says $125 on her site, but I got you guys a super deal), oh, and be sure to ask her to read you “energy”… It’s freak real!
No music, no air, no TV, no food, no drink, no cell phone…even prison has these simple amenities. Yes, we have now entered the Department of Motor Vehicles, or in this case the ‘Driver Licence License & Theft’. I don’t even know how to read this; is it ‘Drivers Licence Licence & Theft’; or ‘Driver License. License & Theft’? Neither makes sense! Do get your license and then someone steals while you’re here so you have to get it again?? I’m so confused! I’ve added this to my list of places that should serve alcohol before entering.
Since my license expires soon, I was forced to go there in person and get a REAL ID, because apparently my last one was fake? Funny story…because you know I can’t tell just one story at a time…anyway, I went to the DMV last year to get a duplicate license after losing it one drunken night in Boston with Karen (I do think those ‘Karen memes’ are based on my friend). I showed up at the DMV with my passport and all the documentation needed to get a new license/REAL ID since I was already there. They wouldn’t take my passport and instead wanted a birth certificate, as if me being there in person doesn’t show that I was in fact, born. And why they wanted a birth certificate from 50 years ago with no photo and an old last name vs a valid passport, with recent photo and correct last name, that is accepted around the world and was issued from another government agency, was beyond me. So I ended up just getting the same old ‘fake’ license, which looks even faker because it’s a duplicate! And they told me that even if I came back with a birth certificate, that I could not renew a REAL ID online; and this my friends is why America despises the DMV.
I dragged Stu with me this time, passport in hand (which they do take!) as well as 50 other pieces of documentation to prove our identities. We were greeted by a wonderful woman full of Southern Hospitality who, If it wasn’t for the ‘no drink’ rule, would have probably offered us a sweet tea while we waited. Expecting to be spending the entire day, we were pleasantly surprised at the 40-minute wait and overall painless experience!
The gentleman processing my information was super nice. I asked him how he liked working there as it seems like a busy, stressful place to work especially with the new ID in place. His response ‘Nine months. Nine months until I retire’. We both had a good laugh.
Meanwhile, at Stuart’s window, they were overhearing the conversation at the next window down. A 105-year-old woman, who drives a stick no less, was refusing to turn in her license as she insists she is perfectly fine behind the wheel despite her age. Apparently, they keep trying to get her off the road to no avail.
Although this visit wasn’t too bad by DMV standards, I’m hoping by the time my license expires I can renew it online.
I have taken the liberty of rebranding the DMV to better clarify what it represents. Here are the top names in the running:
Defeated Miserable Victims
Death by Mandatory Visit
Dumpster of Malicious Verbal assault (this really applied more to MA than NC)
Division of Motherf’ing Vengeance (again, more MA)
Diminishing Mental health Visit
Delayed Mundane Venture
Depressing Musty Venue
Dewers Margaritas Vodka (which is what they should serve)
Not only did I find a brand new waffle maker (only 16 yrs old and never used) at my sisters house, I also had the pleasure of discovering a quesadilla maker, bread maker, Insta Pot, George Forman grill, and a crockpot—and that was just in the pantry, imagine what the basement holds! That’s going to have to wait for another visit though.
After throwing out the pancake mix from 2011 (yes, Gigi, old food does actually go bad), and googling an easy recipe (btw 3 cups of milk is way to much, so I won’t use using that recipe again), I finally got some pretty good waffles and only made a slight mess which I consider a success!
I was feeling so confident that I tried the quesadilla maker for dinner. They came out good, but I don’t recommend anyone buying one…that’s what microwaves are for.
Years ago my BFF Becca gave me an awesome waffle stick maker. I think it was around the time I had kids since kids love waffles. Every time we stay at a hotel and the breakfast is included, Lucas always gets a waffle. He’s been bugging me to make him square waffles—which everyone knows taste way better than rectangle waffles (don’t ever get me started on round waffles!).
So I sucked it up and bought a new square waffle maker. The coating on the waffle stick maker is starting to peel so I didn’t feel too bad about getting a new one. And kid only eats like 3 food items, so I know I’ll get my money’s worth. I even got adventurous and made them from scratch instead of using good ole Bisquick. What I didn’t do though, is spray the maker with cooking spray before adding the batter—rookie mistake (I warned you I wasn’t a perfect Pinterest kinda girl!). But it’s also copper plated and says nonstick. In all fairness, it didn’t stick it just didn’t come out easily.
It also took twice the amount of time to cook vs the sticks, so I say to Stu “you know what takes less time?” And he replies “yeah, Waffle House”!
That’s what my husband said almost 18 yrs ago. What he didn’t tell me was that it was stand-by and I’d be spending a lot of time, well standing by. I can’t complain too much though, I get to jet set for 3 day trips to Ecuador or whatever crazy plan he comes up with. And I have to say, it nice having a personal travel agent who also doubles as my STUber!
Ramon Abrahams, Catalina Avilas, Maria Rosa, Pino Rosa, please, for the love of God, report to gate 11!!! They have announced your names at least 50x now—it’s people like you that make it possible for me to travel, so thank you. Unfortunately, I’m not going to San Salvador today on Aviance Airline, which clearly is not a US carrier or they would have left your ass behind by now!!
We spent the last day in Salinas, Ecuador, a beach town a few hours from Guayaquil. Curtis got to jet ski with Stu for the first time ever, while I enjoyed a fresh coconut water and relaxed a bit.
Overall a fun trip, not in a rush to come back. There’s a big world out there to see still!
Ecuador is one hot, humid county. So why are all the locals wearing pants?? I’m not talking those breezy linen tropical pants, but jeans!! Some even have long sleeves on! It’s 87 degrees with 6 million percent humidity! And how come these women look so cute with perfectly sleek hair and I look like a wet poodle?? And why the hell does this hotel have a sauna??
I love a country where you’re never too far from a Dunks. I could do without the McDonalds and KFC though (but ask me on day 3 when the kids don’t like any of the local food!).
We arrived last night at 10pm after a full day of travel—and we got first-class on the plane! Sometimes the stand-by gods are on our side!
We had a fun day of walking up 444 steps (we went the wrong way up, of course, so it was more like 600, but whose counting? Actually the steps were numbered so I guess someone was).
We spent the rest of the morning sight seeing and shopping for bathing suits for the boys. I packed mine but apparently was in charge of the kids and Stu’s also, oops. We looked in every shop for one small enough for Lucas to no avail. We were sitting outside when a shop worker chased us down and said she had one—word travels fast when a sale can be made.
Damn kid wouldn’t go in the pool anyway without a proper swim shirt and went into total meltdown mode, at which point I when I went into total mojito mode. Nothing a mojito can’t fix right? Don’t worry I got one for Stu too, which I spilled and had to give him half of mine so he wouldn’t laugh at me, and I did get the kids ice cream.
Overall a good first day Guayaquil Ecuador which also included lots of iguana sitings, a giant Ferris wheel ride, 5 cats (purritio, 2 cafe cats, Oreo, & butterscotch…yes, Lucas named them), ceviche, a sunburned neck (how am I the only one??), a few card games while we waited for the power to go back on (no idea, but the whole city went black a few times), and a crazy experience at a huge marketplace with 6 people trying to understand and then find us an ankle brace for Curtis….$20 later for a $5 item, at least we fed 6 families for a month.
I had the honor of attending the book launch of Romi Neustadt’s new book You Can Have It All, Just Not at the Same Damn Time. #HaveItAllSisterhood
I registered to attend this event a few months ago with my friend Julie. Side note about Julie (yeah, I know, I can’t stay on one topic, and oddly I’ve never been diagnosed with ADD). So Julie and I have so much in common: same name, same initials, short hair, glasses, our boys (who are friends) both names start with C, we live in the same neighborhood, go to the same church, and of course, we’re both so much fun! In fact, I think the biggest difference is she’s a wine white lady, and I prefer red.
Back to the book—I assumed it had something to do with business as Romi has been selling Rodan + Fields forever. She’s one of those top selling sales rep that has gotten the cars, the trips, and has that confident glow around her that us lowly reps only dream about but are too lazy or busy to make it happen. The book was nothing of the sort. Instead it was more of a ‘self-help, just-say-no, take-care-of-yourself, be-your-true-self’ kind of book. She was funny and real and it was so refreshing. And exactly what I needed at this point. Before I spoil it for you, just order it, you’ll thank you later.
This is me….the perfectly imperfect woman. 